I’m going to Mexico in a week. I am very excited, but I’m also a bit nervous. This is my first “girls trip”. I have never been on a vacation with just lady friends before. Most of these women I don’t really know well either. My coworker, Nancy, invited me to come 5 months ago. Nancy is a really nice friend and I feel very fortunate to have a friend like her in my life right now. As neither of us work at the cafe anymore, we don’t see each other as much as I would like. I miss chatting with her. We have met for coffee and I’m sure we will do what we can. She and I both work other jobs and have our own lives.
My biggest concern is the other women in the group. Some I know from a fitness boot camp I went to not too long ago. Very nice ladies. One of the women intimidates the hell out of me. She’s the fitness instructor. I can’t tell if she likes me, or is annoyed by me. I can’t get a good read. So I’m hope, hope, hoping we get along on this trip. I always have these really deep insecurities when it comes to female friendships. I have no real long term friendships. All of these ladies have known each other forever. I always worry about if they will like me. I try to be myself. I’m an introvert, and so it’s very hard for me to warm up to people. I usually do a lot of listening. I’m not always “up for anything”, as they say. I can be a little too honest at times. I’ve had a lot of friendships come and go because I couldn’t meet their emotional demands of me. I just don’t really like to be around people….so maintaining friendships is really hard.
I’m trying to keep my expectations low for this trip. I honestly don’t have any idea how it’s going to be. All I know is, all the ladies I’ve met so far are really nice. So I’m going to ride that one for a while. They are all around my age. 45-60. They have families and jobs. They are all married. They live their lives and support one another. So, I am just going to ride the wave of nice and try to enjoy myself without expectation of more.
I would like to head up to Powell’s bookstore today to find a couple novels to take with me. I don’t do well on planes. I get very claustrophobic and ADD kicks in. I get air sick too. So, I’m hoping reading a book will help. Xanax will also help. I heard of a book called, “Post Traumatic Church Syndrome” by Reba Riley. I can identify with what the book is about and thought I’d pick up a copy. I’d also like to maybe find a true crime novel. I don’t generally read true crime, but I do watch true crime documentaries. So perhaps I can find a book about a cult gone wrong or something. LOL. But, there is a good chance I’ll go by the discount books and pick up fluff too. 😀
The only thing, besides a book or two, I need to get for my trip is a new suitcase. I would like one of those hard sided ones. I’d prefer pink. So my quest in the next week is to find a suitcase that meets this criteria. I also need to get a body belt to hold my cash and passport. I went to the bank and asked if a prepaid visa card would be a good idea to take with me (we don’t have credit cards, only debit), and I was told no. Traveler’s Checks are a thing of the past apparently. I haven’t traveled outside the US in 16 years. I don’t want to use my debit card. The other ladies are bringing cash, so I’ll do what I can to protect my cash and wear it next to my body.
I’m very nervous about Mexico. I will be honest. After I paid for my flight, it was then I found out about all the horrible things that keep happening to Americans. I’m afraid to order any kind of beverage. I’m scared to leave the resort, unless it’s a guided excursion hosted by the resort. My apprehension is increasing the closer this trip gets. I tried to discuss this with Nancy, but she assured me things will be fine and we will all take care of one another. All I know is, I plan to keep my wits about me. Getting drunk on tequila? Not happening. Not sure how I’ll deal with the beverage thing. I heard some resorts have places where they re-bottle beverages that contain roofies. You *THINK* you’re getting a fresh bottled something, but you’re not. So I’m kinda freaked about that.
Anyway, lots of apprehension about this trip. Doing what I can to stay excited.